College Lesbians

Coming Out in College

Coming out of the closet might seem easier if you tell a couple of trustworthy people before telling everyone. In a sense, you need to get your feet wet before taking the plunge. If you haven't told close friends that you are a lesbian, start there if you think they will be supportive and accepting. If these friends give you a favorable response, you will feel confident and relieved that you have finally been able to share a secret that you have probably held on to for years.

If your friends do not react as you hoped they would, don't let it discourage you from coming out. It will be a temporary blow to your self-confidence, but it's good to look inside yourself and find out what makes you happy. If these friends were truly good friends, they would have supported you and loved you for who you are, not for who they thought you were. Take some time to console yourself and then continue; it's important not to let others make you believe that it's wrong to be a lesbian.

However, you don't have to tell any of your closest friends; you can decide to come out in a different way. You may want to join a group on campus or a gay rights organization and let people find out that way. Deciding when and how to come out is completely up to you and your comfort level. You don't want to make this experience an awkward or negative one, so do what you think is best for you.

Organizations and Resources at Your College

The next step, after confiding in your close friends, may be to visit an organization at your school for college lesbians. Most universities and colleges have a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual (LGBT) or women's department for individuals going through what you are right now. These organizations usually have peer or professional counselors ready to sit down with you to discuss your problems and questions about coming out. They will help you feel better about yourself and give you the confidence to share your identity with your family and friends.

LGBT organizations often have speakers who will discuss their experience with coming out and how their life has been since they did so. These speakers will usually allow people to ask questions once the speech is over so you can get any and all of your concerns answered by someone who has been there and knows how you feel right now.

After coming out, LGBT organizations can continue to help you by providing you a place to share any successes or issues that come up in the future. The group might also hold demonstrations, conferences and other events that you can participate in. When coming out, you may feel lonely at times and isolated from the rest of the world. Engaging in the activities the group has to offer will help you feel connected to a larger community. You'll meet new friends, maybe start taking part in the college dating scene, and begin to freely live your life without fear that your secret may be discovered.

Other Resources for College Lesbians

If your college doesn't have a women's or LGBT organization, you can make an appointment with counseling services. All colleges and universities have counseling services and many times, college lesbians choose this form of help over others because it's completely confidential. You can make an appointment and meet with a counselor without anyone knowing. Because all of the information you share with the counselor is confidential, you won't have to worry about your friends or family members finding out until you are ready.

Another option is to contact a LGBT organization in your college's city or town. Many cities have these organizations or groups to help individuals within the community.

One of the Most Important Things to Remember

You are who you are and others need to learn to accept it or they are not worth your time. Coming out in college can be scary, but if you feel it is the best time for you, then go ahead and finally let your loved ones know. You will feel so much better about yourself and finally be able to live your life freely!